My friends, they love my intelligence
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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