We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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