I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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