Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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