People with herpes should wear stickers.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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