Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
