If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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