she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
