I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
