it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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