So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
