So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
