alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
