watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
