just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
