eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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