Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
