Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So many bounce houses so little time
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
