I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
