I'm jealous of your bromance
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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