There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
