Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
