You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
