Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
