he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
