Sry I called you an 8
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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