I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
