You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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