At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
