I feel great
I just peed on a car
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
