If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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