I think i sorta joined a cult last night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
