I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
