the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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