And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
