So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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