remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
