we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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