I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
