their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
