Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
