This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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