She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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