1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
