So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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