the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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