friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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