Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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