i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
