I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
