I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
